Your delivery is as important as the words you use. Body language is the tone and pitch of your words and the facial and body gestures that are part of your communications. Because body language conveys over 90 percent of any message, you need to exhibit assertive nonverbal behavior.
Let’s say that your manager has assigned a peer to work on a report that is actually your responsibility. You can say, “I am angry that you asked Larry to work on the Needles report. I’d like you to tell me the next time you need a report because it is my responsibility.” So far so good—you have assertively shared your feelings.
Now let’s consider your voice, posture, and body gestures as you made your statement. Your voice should be level—controlled, firm, and relaxed. You don’t want to frighten your manager. Toward that end, keep your head erect and relaxed, maintain eye contact, and don’t point a finger. If you think you are too upset, hold back talking to your manager until you are more at ease with the situation. But if the situation does upset you, don’t ignore your emotions. That’s a passive response— and you want to avoid passivity as much as you want to avoid aggression.