Have you thought about how you communicate and what your communication style says about you? Let’s assume that you plan to have dinner with an old friend, but at the last minute, your manager asks you to work on a rush job. Your friend will be in town only one evening. Would you typically:
Say nothing to your manager about your plans and simply agree to work late to finish the job?
Refuse your manager in no uncertain terms, berating him for his lack of planning?
Explain you won’t be able to work late this evening because you have made special plans, but you could arrive early the next morning to complete the work?
Here’s another hypothetical situation. Let’s assume that one of your employees has made a serious error. You believe it should be brought to her attention. Would you typically:
Tell her, but in an apologetic and embarrassed manner, even offering to do the work in the future to prevent a recurrence of the problem?
Angrily reprimand the employee, accusing her of making a dumb mis- take and demanding that she correct it immediately?
Discuss the mistake with the employee, attempting to determine the cause and identify ways to avoid its recurrence?
The three responses in both of the above examples characterize very different communication styles and behaviors. In both situations, the first response illustrates a passive communication and management style, the second an aggressive communication and management style, and the third an assertive communication and management style.
Of the three styles, it should be pretty evident which is most productive for you as a manager. An assertive response will help you achieve your goals—to make your point or communicate your need—without putting down or otherwise alienating the other party. To understand why the assertive style is right for you, let’s look at all three styles in detail.