You may have to deal with other situations that demand strong communication skills. For instance, I have offered advice about how to say no to a request, but how do you communicate bad news to someone—whether an employee, supervisor, or peer?
Damage done in the delivery can be far worse than the message. You don’t want to sound uncaring when you tell an employee that he can’t take a day off to see his son play softball. Nor do you want to say yes and then come back an hour later with some reason why you can’t let the employee off. Where the news is really bad—like upcoming layoffs—you may want to prepare your employees. Start by saying, “I’m going to have to give you some bad news.” Such an outright statement lets people prepare emotionally for the upset. Follow that up with the bad news and the why behind it, if explaining the reason will help the listeners to understand better.
When delivering bad news, show up at the meeting with the numbers and results in black and white, if you can. This tactic will distance you from the situation, minimizing personal resentment against you. If there is any kernel of good in the bad news, mention it. If a project has been killed, suggest that perhaps information or insights can be salvaged from the experience. If there will be downsizing, tell the group that there are no plans for further downsizing—if that is the reality.
Another situation that some new managers find difficult is to ask questions in a manner that prompts the information they need to do their jobs better. In your job, you will be asking questions to help you make decisions, questions to confirm facts, and questions designed to evoke reconsideration of actions (like in one of those planning sessions we discussed in Planning).
For the purpose of inquiry, start by asking open-ended questions to gather facts. Postpone closed—yes or no—questions until confirming facts. Make certain you ask your questions in a logical sequence. Start by defining the trouble, then identify possible causes. Next, identify the true cause of the trouble before asking questions to gather ideas from the employee, colleague, or customer about how to solve it.
Don’t come to a conclusion until you’ve gathered all the information you need to make a well-considered decision.
Confirmation questions are the yes or no questions mentioned earlier. Is it true that you weren’t here at 9:00 AM when Mr. Crawford called? Were you rude to Rene at lunch? Have you completed the report for me?
When you want people to think about what they’re doing, you should ask a rhetorical question such as, “Why do you work as hard as you do?” or, “What does quality really mean?” or, “Have you ever wondered why customers choose to buy from us and not our competitors?”
Questions can be powerful—not just in the information they provide, but in their impact on the flow of a conversation. For instance, when discussion meanders, you can get back on track with a question. When you’re at a loss for words, you can ask a question. Questions, then, buy you time to think. Questions also will help whenever you’re under attack. You might ask an employee who disagrees with your suggestion, “Why do you believe my idea won’t work?” If a colleague gets upset about a remark you made in a group meeting, you might ask, “What have I said to make you feel that way?” Questions can also help when a customer complains: “Please tell me exactly what went wrong?” or, “What will it take to get you back as a customer?”
Let’s look at another kind of situation you may encounter in your position. You are busy and have been rushing around the office, preoccupied with how you will get a tough job completed before the day is over. You pass one of your employees in the hallway. The individual says, “Hello.” Preoccupied, you walk by without saying a word. So what, you think. I have important things to think about. Now put yourself in that employee’s shoes. You see your boss and offer a greeting, yet your manager walks by without a word. How do you feel? Without cause, you begin to wonder if you have done or said anything to offend your manager. Perhaps you may label your manager as rude and indifferent. In future interpersonal communications, that impression may exist, rightly or wrongly.
I’m not suggesting that a smile and a brief hello will earn you a congeniality award at the end of the year, but I am suggesting that they can leave people with the impression that you are someone they would like to work with. I’ll go even further: the ability to engage others in small talk can achieve big gains. If you enter a meeting, ask Claire, one of your colleagues whose son just went into the Marines, how he did in boot camp and then listen to her prideful stories. On Monday, if you and one of your employees arrive at the same time, inquire how he spent his weekend. People love to talk about themselves and their families and friends, so give them the opportunity to do so. You will be amazed at the rapport that grows from these brief conversations, rapport that you can save up and use when you need a helping hand with your work or career.